The Power of Daily Routines for Women Seeking Calm and Clarity
What We Must Implement To Thrive
In my own children, I see that structure supports a grounded nervous system. When my children know what the expectations are, what the boundaries are, what the rules are, what the day looks like, they are able to settle into the present moment as though is a cozy blanket that has them fully secure and warm.
When there is a lack of routine, things fall to pieces at some point. There are inevitably tears.
It’s like the unknown of what is about to happen next sets off a domino effect at some point. They might be fine one minute, but then I ask them to do something, and suddenly everything peaceful crumbles like a cookie that was taken off the bake sheet too soon.
I’ve seen the pattern over and over.
And what I’ve found, is that while I may want to be a rebel throwing all routine out the window for a day, that always leads to an emotional exhaustion from all of us in the end.
Routines Aren’t Just for Kids
So here’s the big kicker? As my life and career changed in the past couple of years, what I hadn’t done was create a true routine for myself. As my kids have grown and reached each new season, I’ve helped them build new routines—nay, I’ve created their new routines.
But for myself? Nope.
I realized I had not done it. I had not given myself the gift of a routine that would support my nervous system.
The result? A nervous system that was easily rattled. A brain that constantly felt like a control panel with all 100 buttons lit up at the same time. A body that couldn’t settle into the moment with peace or joy.
What Held Me Back From Creating My Own Routine
So I had to dig in and ask myself why I hadn’t created my own routine. Was there something I was afraid of?
The answer was yes—I was afraid of creating a routine that I would fail at. A routine that would feel too confining. A routine that wouldn’t allow me to be my full, multifaceted self.
Interestingly enough, when it comes down to what routines do, they do the opposite of what I was fearing.
Routines give me expectations by which I can win at the day just be following the routine. They give me freedom by providing a container to work within. And they actually ensure all the things that needed to get done actually get done which then frees up space and time to be more of the multifaceted, fully expressed self I want to be.
A routine isn’t the opposite of embracing the present moment. It is actually the very thing that creates peace within the present moment.
Instead of my nervous system having to be on high alert waiting for the next fire to put out or the next shoe to drop, I can move peacefully forward from hour to hour knowing what is coming next.
Ending the Fires
Over the past year, as I navigated my next career steps and adapted to a new season of motherhood with my kids getting a bit older, I realized that without intentional routines, I was constantly battling “urgent fires” even when there weren’t immediate crises to solve.
Each day had been lived hour to hour, with every moment requiring a decision about what to do next. It was exhausting.
But I took the time to reflect, and I’ve now created my own routines—routines that support my nervous system, honor my energy, and give me a sense of calm and order in my day.
The result has been transformative: I feel more grounded, focused, and able to move through my day with peace rather than constant alertness. I’ve given myself the same care and structure that I’ve always offered my kids, and it has changed everything.
Your Turn to Reflect
If any of this resonates, pause and ask yourself:
What would it look like to give yourself the same care and structure you so readily offer others?
Where in your life are you still living hour to hour, making endless micro-decisions that leave you drained?
And perhaps most importantly—what’s one small routine you could create this week that would offer your nervous system the gift of knowing what comes next?
The peace we crave isn’t found in perfection or rigid schedules. It’s in the gentle container of knowing we’re cared for, even by ourselves.